Premenstrual Rage Is NOT a Personal Failing

Written summary of podcast episode:

I'm coming to you from day 27 of my cycle, deep in the luteal phase. At this point in my cycle, I often feel a strong urge to retreat inward, stepping back from social media and public visibility. Yet, some months, I'm compelled to speak out boldly. This cycle, I'm leaning into that outspokenness.

Today, we're unpacking the idea of premenstrual rage and why it's crucial to stop seeing it as a personal failing. This is something I see all the time when women are trying to find lasting relief from PMS - they feel like they've failed every time they experience premenstrual rage again. Like they must be doing something wrong or like it's because they aren't "good enough" at managing it. 

If that's you, I want to help you shift that perspective!

The Burden of Shame

Many women experience intense shame concerning their premenstrual feelings, believing that if they were more controlled, nicer, or happier, they wouldn't feel as they do. This shame often discourages us from understanding our cycles, driving some to long-term birth control use for fear these symptoms reveal personal flaws. I felt this shame for years. It's one of the reasons I stayed on the pill for 12 years. Thankfully, I see things differently now.

Rethinking Premenstrual Rage

It's important to understand that premenstrual rage is not inherently a problem. It holds an immense amount of wisdom. Our symptoms are not shortcomings; they signal needs and boundaries. Instead of suppressing them, the focus should be on listening to what these feelings are communicating. Healing isn't linear; sometimes, it feels like we're stepping back, but every experience contributes to growth. Your symptoms are not a failure; they're a language.

Society's Take on Women's Anger

Let's not forget, there's also a societal bias against angry women, often labeling them as crazy or overly sensitive. Anger is generally seen as negative, yet it's an emotion everyone grapples with and is so so important for us to feel and understand. For women, expressing anger is even less tolerated. Society's discomfort with female anger contributes to the belief that such emotions are failings. However, archetypes like the Goddess Kali show us that destruction, even anger, can be necessary for transformation.

Harnessing Sacred Rage

So what's the alternative? Recognising premenstrual rage as sacred can be incredibly empowering. It's not a negative trait but an opportunity for growth and change. It's trying to communicate something important to you about your needs and boundaries! Anger becomes destructive when suppressed, just like boiling water with a lid on. By acknowledging your rage as a messenger, you open the way for profound shifts in how you relate to yourself but also others. Understanding the core message beneath anger allows you to harness its power effectively.

Conclusion

If we want to stop suffering from PMS, we must shed the idea that premenstrual rage reflects personal failure. Society has failed by not equipping us with tools to process emotions healthily. Embrace your anger and listen to its messages. This shift can transform your premenstrual experience from a perceived failing to a powerful source of insight.

If you've found this helpful, be sure to go listen to the full podcast episode!