Intentional Tantrums for Premenstrual Rage

I am thrilled to delve into one of my favourite somatic techniques - intentional tantrums. This approach, which I learnt from one of my mentors and teachers Desi Monique during my training in Sensual Embodiment, serves as a fantastic tool for women dealing with premenstrual rage, or honestly, any rage throughout their cycle. It's been a nourishing practice for my inner children, and I'm excited to share how you can embrace this in your healing journey.

Understanding Intentional Tantrums

An intentional tantrum is a straightforward concept—it's a somatic process that permits your inner child, whether it's a stroppy teenager or a two-year-old wanting to cry and stomp, to express itself through your body consciously and intentionally. This isn't about overthinking emotions or trying to logic them away but allowing them to flow naturally through your body so you can release and understand them better.

The Balance of Regulation and Rage

Intentional tantrums aren't about losing control or punching pillows in a dysregulated state. Evidence shows that such cathartic actions can actually increase anger and harmfully impact the nervous system. But regulation isn’t suppression either; it’s about having enough capacity to sit with our emotions. This practice is about acknowledging anger as a carrier of valuable information about ourselves, acting as a guiding force within our lives. Your rage, when honored, holds valuable insights, and it’s important to express it without harm.

Preparing for an Intentional Tantrum

Before you begin, ensure you’re somewhat grounded and regulated, feeling connected to your body—whether through breathwork or tapping into your senses. Regulation is about presence, not calmness. Opt for calming music instead of intense tunes. Find that part of you that feels anger or outrage, and connect deeply with it in your body, then let your body express it through movement like pushing, shaking, or whatever comes naturally.

Expressing and Witnessing Emotions

Invite the angry part of you to express itself while you stay regulated, focusing on deep breathing. Your expression might mirror a childlike energy—embrace this without worrying about appearance. It’s about witnessing and allowing those feelings to move, not calming or solving them. Give your emotions the opportunity to be felt and acknowledged.

Reflecting on Your Experience

When you're done, take some time to reflect and process the experience. You might not feel 'better,' and that’s okay. The important part is feeling a sense of completion, knowing the emotions have been expressed and witnessed. Journaling about your movements—whether pulling, expanding, or collapsing—can aid in integrating the experience and offer insights into your emotional journey.

An Invitation

If this process feels too challenging to do one your own, I want to invite you to book a Cycle Guidance Session. These are one hour sessions where we have the opportunity to deep dive into a certain aspect of your cycle or a certain experience or a certain symptom or part that is showing itself to you through your menstrual cycle. And sometimes that might be me facilitating an intentional tantrum. 

Listen to the full episode above or on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.