Navigating and Healing PMDD - My Personal Journey

Early Signs of PMDD

I got my first period when I was 13, and I remember feeling really bad the week before. Over the following months, I noticed this dark time appeared regularly in the weeks leading up to my period. I didn’t know what PMDD was back then, but looking back, I now realize that’s what I was experiencing.

At that time, I didn’t have the tools or support to understand what was happening to me. My mum also struggled with similar symptoms but wasn’t aware that it could be anything other than normal PMS. Since then, we’ve had healing conversations, and this is part of why I’m so passionate about helping women who think these monthly struggles are just normal.

Suppressing Symptoms

Growing up, I was in an environment where there wasn’t space to process my emotions. I quickly learned that being angry, sad, or hopeless was seen as a bad thing. So, after a few periods, I went on the contraceptive pill at a young age, staying on it for ten years. This was the only way I knew how to cope at the time.

When I decided to come off the pill during the COVID lockdown, it was for health reasons. After three months, I went back on it because my premenstrual symptoms were unbearable. Despite years of therapy, I didn’t understand what was happening to me beyond thinking it was just "PMS."

The Turning Point

I came off the pill for good two years later. This time, I had more tools and knowledge about hormone health, but my symptoms persisted. I was doing everything “right”—exercise, diet, hormone balancing—but nothing worked. It wasn’t until I started exploring my spirituality and learning about menstrual cycle awareness that I began to understand the deeper roots of my symptoms.

Discovering Menstrual Cycle Awareness

Through my spiritual journey, I came across the concept of menstruality and menstrual cycle awareness. It was like a lightbulb moment for me. I started seeing my premenstrual symptoms as important signals from my body, not just something to suppress or fix.

I learned that the premenstrual phase, or inner autumn, holds you accountable for who you are. It shows you where you aren’t being authentic or aligned with your true self. As a chronic people pleaser, this resonated deeply with me. I had spent most of my life struggling to live authentically.

An Experiment in People Pleasing

One month, I decided to try an experiment—I stopped people pleasing altogether. I told my partner I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t genuinely want to do. It was terrifying, but that month, I didn’t experience any premenstrual symptoms. The only thing I had changed was not people pleasing, which showed me just how powerful this work can be.

Embracing the Entire Cycle

As I leaned into my premenstrual symptoms and stopped avoiding them, I began to see how my menstrual cycle as a whole could support me in healing. It wasn’t just about managing premenstrual symptoms anymore—it was about getting to know myself and finding a sense of wholeness. Each phase of the menstrual cycle offers its own gifts, and there’s so much more to explore when we start paying attention to these cycles.

I hope this post has given you an overview of my journey. I’d love to hear if any part of it resonates with you. Thank you so much for reading, and stay tuned for future posts where I’ll dive deeper into how the four phases of the menstrual cycle can help heal premenstrual symptoms.

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